The desperate cries that echo through your head questioning why your weight loss plan isn’t working is grueling. In fact, it is downright life-sucking.
You question why it worked for your friend, your sister and your mother but not you. Nope, you’ve now decided you are destined for a life of misery because nothing will fit and no matter how hard you work, still nothing.
Or you could be in the camp of finding success on a restricted diet only to have gained it all back and then some. Just when you thought the starting point was your low, you’ve now surpassed that nearly a year later as you’ve experienced the full effects of what many classify as yo-yo weight loss.
And so you just keep asking, pleading, crying WHY?!?
my story
I’m going to tell you, I feel you in every aspect of the word why? It’s a well-known word in my own language spoken daily. However, it’s also a word I’m trying to overcome because sometimes we have to be okay with not knowing the reasons for everything. In fact, in being okay with not knowing can come true peace.
If I told you that getting over the why is easy, I’d be lying.
Just to be frank with you, I write this post because the struggle has been real in my own life for the last month. It’s been gripping, paralyzing and joy sapping. So much so that I know it needs to end because every area of my life is now being consumed by this question.
Here’s what I know and what I believe. As long as we let a number on the scale define what we are capable of, we’re living to be disappointed, because a number on the scale or in your jeans was never meant to be the focus of your life. If you’ve read Part 1 then you clearly know that health is not something we should live for but something we should live with.
As long as you continue to live in hopes of achieving health, we’ll always fall short, because that’s not health that works.
what’s the hold up?
Our approach, our approach, our approach.
I say it three times to help you realize that it isn’t always eat this not that, restrict, eliminate and beat your body into submission. In fact, it is never these things. We come at health with the wrong approach.
We believe that the answer lies in just behavior modification.
- Tomorrow I’m not going to eat any sugar.
- I’m giving up caffeine for good.
- 10,000 steps is my goal and I’m going to actually do it.
We believe that if we can force ourselves to make changes in our life that then this is good enough.
This isn’t good enough because the only way that behavior modification can work is if we get to the root of the issue. Why? Because if you haven’t changed the root of what you believe, then your thoughts, cravings, and DESIRES are going to overcome your behavior modification to eliminate sweets and ultimately make you give-in.
It’s not a behavior issues, at the root, it’s a heart issue.
this is what you need to know
If you read nothing else, read this.
It’s not a behavior issue, at the root, it’s a heart issue.
If your heart is in the wrong place you will lack desire, you will lack focus and you’re then left with willpower. This we know and have research to back up the ineffectiveness of long-term use of willpower alone. It’s not something nor should ever be something to rely on to make drastic life change.
Instead, we have to start peeling back the layers. We have to go deep, be willing to bring up the pain, accept the past and step into a new future. We need to change our heart so that in turn changes our desire because in desire comes lasting change.
The first step is self-awareness.
you can only be successful by
You can only be successful by having a strong sense of self-awareness, because life isn’t perfect and your plan won’t go perfectly. If you have a good understanding of yourself, your triggers, and desires then you are more apt to stay the course. I’m not talking about just staying the course because of some surface level claim, but a deep down desire that comes from you for you.
Self awareness takes recognizing {without faulting} the negative choices and decisions you make everyday and then uncovering the root for that. Did you make that decision out of; stress, anger, bitterness, exhaustion, a fight with your husband, a bad work decisions, a lack of respect from your kids, or a meaningless job?
the action plan
Here is the action items to create self-awareness. Ask yourself these questions:
- What decision did you make that didn’t align with your view of success?
- Did something trigger that decision {could be a person, place, emotion, etc}?
- What was the emotion you felt that drove that – the root of the reason?
- Was there another way to deal with that trigger that doesn’t involve your story of success?
Create a list and start to learn about your triggers. Know what sets you off and then we can deal with those triggers so they no longer have a hold on your life by changing your roots from negativity, self-destruction, and lack, to that of joy, peace and love.
So when you get into a fight with your spouse, instead of eating your way through your emotions, you choose to act in love. To replenish the relationship, to offer grace and forgiveness or be accepting of your own wrong.
When you’re boss gives you another work project adding to your endless to-dos you stop ignoring your meal times, only to binge on candy and donuts at the next work meeting. Instead, you honor your work flow. Taking breaks, showering yourself with extra love, time and space so that you are more productive when you do sit down to work.
change the root
By changing the core, your heart, your desire you can change not only the course of your health but your life, because it is all interwoven together. Use health to your advantage. Use health as power and stop letting it render you powerless.
Behavior modification will get you no-where, at least no-where long-term. It really takes a change of heart. So dig deep, uncover your heart, go back to your view of success {read more about creating your vision of success in part 1}, believe in something greater and step into your new future. One that holds true and lasting health that comes with ease.
Health may always be a battle in your life, but may it be one that uplifts you and challenges you. Not one that brings you down, ready to break you. One foot in front of the other and recognize how little health actually is about food and how much it is about knowing yourself.
Stay tuned for part three as we unpack how to create a healthy life using success and awareness as the tools.
But for now, if you’re questioning how to unpack all of this and want more day-to-day action on how to make this work in your own life then sign up for my free weekly devotion. This weekly devotion will help walk you through this life change that in the end can change everything.
free weekly wellness devotion
If you’re stuck, hit a plateau, scared of gaining weight, unsure of what your right next move is, lacking desire, missing out on joy, worried about your health, frustrated by the lack of weight loss you see, mad at how hard health comes to you, confused about all of the recommendations and knowing there is something more. There is an answer that lies out there I would encourage you to sign up for my free weekly wellness devotion.
The place, the home of peace, of rest, of freedom. Yet also a place of motivation, encouragement and action to not just achieve health but to achieve joy in life. In this free weekly wellness devotion we will walk through step-by-step how to finally achieve lasting health. Even more than that how to achieve a joyful life in simple and practical weekly steps. It will encourage and challenge you to uncover desire and create lasting change in your own life.
