Self-love is a confusing topic in this day in age. In one breath you are told to love yourself no matter your size and yet the world still feels like it’s constantly forcing us to be a certain size. What is right and how do you actually love yourself no matter your size?
Self-love is a topic that comes with a lot of fluff. It looks glamorous, and Instagram worthy, something to be documented and recorded. But is that love, or is a formulated version of what we think will make us feel love?
And if it’s not love, what is? How do we unearth ourselves to love but also live loved?
These are all questions I’m pondering and considering as I dive into the true meaning of health, and there is no better person to help me do this than Sean Mulroney of The Obesity Revolution.
I don’t want to share Sean’s full story here; you’ll hear him tell you himself inside the podcast. But I did want to ask Sean, a formerly 687-pound man, what does it mean to love yourself even at 687 pounds?
I also ask Sean what sparked the change in his life, how his mindset plays a role, and what he is currently learning on his journey of health, not just weight loss.
what’s your problem?
“We all have a 687 lb problem, the only difference between mine and others… you can see mine.”
Let those words hang in the air and settle a bit in your soul.
Isn’t it so true that we all have a problem? Some visible others not, and while it’s easy to notice the external results, it’s more challenging to understand the inner battle that is taking place.
I don’t believe anyone walks themselves into unhealth willingly. No one signed up to gain weight or to walk around sick and unhealthy. It wasn’t a choice you purposefully made or anyone. No one wishes themselves unwell.
Unfortunately, we find ourselves here, looking for externals solutions to fix our external appearance. But you see, the problem isn’t external, no your body is just a by-product. The actual problem is what lies within. That pains, the hurts, the scars and the wounds that fester as you tirelessly work to suppress.
We all have them, traumas, some big some small, some life-alternating, some life-sucking, and while they are all different and wrong and horrible in their own way, there is one common thread amongst them all – and that was their ability to rewrite your story.
A story that began with beauty and ended with defeat and lies and labels that were never yours to carry.
I say this because I think it’s time to throw off what was never yours to hold and step into the beauty of the person you were created to be, scars and all.
problems always erupt
The trouble with problems is that they continually erupt.
Initially, our best thought is to suppress. To hold onto and refuse to let go of whatever hurts you. How humiliating for someone to know, to truly see what’s been done – so you don’t let it go in fear that it will hurt all over again or worse, hurt someone else.
The problem is, suppression always leads to regression. We try to move forward, but we’re slowing taking backward steps. We can’t ever gain any real momentum because it’s lingering, keeping us stuck, threatening to come up.
So we work harder, put in more energy, and do whatever we can to make it stay, where we feel like it is kept safe and secret.
We eat, we drink, we become addicted, we get depressed, we overwork, we chase but we never really live free, as long as we’re stuffing the ashes of a past pain – they’re keeping us stuck. And eventually, at some point, it will all come out.
So maybe it’s time? To let it out, to talk to someone, and to be free of the jail that has suffocated your life. I heard a great analogy once that so many of us are locked in our own prisons. But the thing about our own jails, while we may be standing at the bars, holding on and wishing to escape, what we don’t realize is that if we just moved to the right or the left, the cage was open. We were free to walk around it, we weren’t stuck, at least not if we changed our view – we could see that the only reason we were still where we are was by choice.
What if you choose to walk around the bars? To free yourself? What would that look like?
beauty in ashes
It’s time to throw off the labels and the lies that lead you to believe you are the problem. To stop allowing the trauma to steal your joy another day longer.
I know what I’m about to ask you to do isn’t easy, and for some, it’s going to make you look at the monster again, but this time you’re in charge, and you hold power to end the hold it has on your life.
This time, you choose to take your power back, for the sake of your health, your relationships, and your life.
So my question is, what are you suppressing, what are you pushing down and trying to shove away refusing to let it erupt? It’s time – call the therapy office, get help, pick up a journal, seek God for help. He wants to carry what He never intended for you too. Let Him have it and, by all means, get the necessary support to do that.
Don’t let the pains turn into any more pounds or any more pain.
Be released and, in time, let your body release the weight it was only holding onto to keep you safe.
Here are some of my favorite resources:
- Book: Larger Than Life: Addressing The Elephant in the Room
- The Obesity Revolution
- Sean’s Instagram
- Book: Maybe You Should Talk To Someone
work with me
Are you ready to change your health for life? To do a complete mind, body, and soul overview that will heal your relationship with food. I want to help walk you through learning a system that will work for you.
To create your own health-style.
Will you make this year the year of your health?
Consider working one-on-one with me creating simple rhythms that will change the entire course of your life. Click here to learn more.
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