I feel a lot of things – in fact, I often tell my husband I wish I could feel less. The grip of emotions is strong in my life, but I’ve learned, it’s not necessarily the emotion but the perception and what I do with that feeling. That’s why I want to share the secret to changing how you feel through knowing the difference between emotions and feelings.
As I mentioned, I tend to feel everything, even for everyone else. It’s not a healthy place I’ve found myself. Most days, I’m scared to live in happiness and joy because I’m waiting for what’s around the bend.
Have you done this too? Have foreboding joy?
When you’re scared it’s going to be taken away – so you live in fear of life waiting for the bad, rather than living in true and lasting joy?
But what life is this?
Most of us probably go about life longing for my happiness, that underlying sense of joy that never escapes us. The shelves at the bookstores are even full of promises to help you find the pursuit of happiness or to get joy in three easy steps.
But I’m questioning – is joy, happiness, and everything else we want to feel less about a “pursuit” and more about a choice? I’d argue so, especially after you listen to today’s episode where I break down the secret to changing how you feel. Check it out inside today’s podcast.
the difference
I used to lump emotions and feelings all into one big category as if they are two in the same. Often, I found my feelings ending up in a negative light – living more in scarcity rather than full joy. Honestly, I just thought it was all about what life handed me.
But I’m learning, quite the difference – this is really the secret to changing how you feel. While it’s challenging – it’s also quite liberating, and I think it’s worth you pondering too.
That an emotion is not the same thing as a feeling.
**Hold up – let your mind explode for a second {as mine did} and then hear this out.
Let’s dive into the difference.
Emotions
Emotions are a reaction to the environment.
They are hardwired into us being a part of our DNA. While emotions tend to be complicated and involve various physical and cognitive responses inside our bodies, in general, the purpose is to produce a specific response to a stimulus.
Emotions are carried out by the limbic system, our emotional processing center – this means that they are illogical, irrational, and unreasonable. Psychologists have identified 21 different categories of emotions – from admiration, anger, anxiety, awe, boredom, calmness, fear, guilt, horror, interest, joy, nostalgia, pride, romance, sadness, sexual desire, surprise, sympathy, and the list continues.
feelings
On the other hand, feelings play out only in your head.
Feelings are the perception of emotion.
They are the mental perception of an emotion that are personal and acquired through experience. There are over 4000 feelings in the English language.
the difference
The difference is quite dramatic – here are the definitions again:
An emotion is a reaction to the enviornment.
A feeling is the perception of the emotion.
It may not seem as if emotions and feelings are that different, but they are. The big difference is that emotions are hardwired – they’re a valid and necessary biological response that is somewhat unconscious. Meaning it is outside of our control.
On the other hand, our feelings are simply a choice.
you can choose
The secret to changing how you feeling is knowing you can choose how you want to feel.
If our feelings are a choice, that means regardless of what emotion you are feeling – even if it’s one you’d rather not have – we have a choice in how we feel.
It might not seem like it, but if you take a look around, you’ll notice that everyone handles grief, joy, worry differently. Some for good and some not so good – but knowing it’s a choice you can start to use, even the bad for good.
emotional freedom
This knowledge was liberating – yet extremely challenging for me. Liberating in the fact that I no longer have to feel the way I do, challenging because it boils down to me choosing to feel a different way.
That choice doesn’t always come easy.
It’s a trained thing and one you most likely have to prepare yourself to change.
But it can be done, and that’s what is most important.
So now the choice is yours – how will you choose to feel, no matter how your body responds in emotion? Will you end the negative cycle and use it for good?
Easier said than done, sure – and don’t I know.
So start with awareness, at least begin to understand your feelings and what emotion they are associated with. Then slowly begin to change your thinking, your perception, one feeling at a time. Retrain your brain – which is maybe the most exciting thing we know in science – that our brain can be molded into something new – and watch as your entire outlook of life changes.
make it easy{ier}
To make this process happen more quickly and easily, make sure you’re practicing daily gratitude. As Brene Brown states, “joy and good feelings are always associated with gratitude.” Maybe changing our brain depends on it.
So live aware and start practicing gratitude.
Most importantly, know you can change how you feel – it’s your choice. And let that choice liberate you.
resources
Make sure you go check out all that Mikaela Schaeffer offers over on her webpage.
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