Therapy is supposed to be the answer – the ticket out of this pain. But what happens when therapy fails? Inside this podcast, we dive in and uncover the truth – how to heal even when therapy fails.
‘This has to work.”
So many e-mails come through my inbox with pleas of help. Begging for answers in another system they’re looking to sign up for. A part of me senses that they’ve already begun thinking “what if it doesn’t work out? Playing the story out in their mind, attaching their last string to this one last thing.
Funny, therapy for me was no different. Maybe I didn’t voice the words, but I think we’ve all voiced them, at least in our head in times of desperate measures. We are clinging to hope in others, in solutions from systems and our prayers in programs.
But have you ever stopped to think, what if therapy fails?
Or is the possibility too grim?
Today on the podcast, I interview a special guest, Lina Salazar. Lina shares her journey with failed therapy attempts, bad body image, disordered eating, and how she created sanity around food. She’ll reveal how she learned to nourish her mind, body and soul.
when therapy fails
There may be nothing worse than this. The point of ultimate vulnerability with another human being, seeking answers and solutions to deep-rooted problems that have been festering right under the surface for years – only for it to fail.
Maybe you haven’t been here, and you’re adding this to the list of reasons why you never see a therapist. If that’s the case, you’ll be sorely mistaken – because the truth is, therapy rarely fails because of a faulty counselor. Therapy fails because of us, because of our beliefs about healing.
It’s important to note that therapy is only a matter of what we make of it. Of how open and honest we can be with ourselves, unafraid of the other humans, because ultimately this is about you and not them.
Vulnerability is like a cuss word to some. It tends to be one of those things, humans by nature avoid. Brene Brown, the queen of vulnerability, defines it as;
uncertainty, risk and emotional exposure. She goes on to say, “vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity. It is the source of hope, empathy, accountability and authenticity. IF we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper or meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.
Vulnerability isn’t always natural, because anything uncomfortable doesn’t tend to be, but it’s necessary. So I question, that may be in vulnerability we can start to grasp that it wasn’t therapy that failed us but us that failed therapy?
vulnerability in health
I think what this all comes back to and quite possibly the foundation of health – is that it lies somewhere between where vulnerability and trust collide. That we have to be vulnerable open and honest, and at the same time, we have to trust that this is the fastest way to heal. To nourish and to strengthen our beings.
We have to trust the process of what vulnerability brings.
So maybe it isn’t a therapy that failed, but it was the lack of vulnerability and the lack of trust that made you fail therapy. So instead of giving up or seeking an answer in another program or system, you open up to trusting the process of what counseling could do for you.
In the end, I think all of this shows how courageous a journey it is to show up, be seen, and truly be yourself. But that is health that nourishes your mind, body, and soul. May you live more of that.
There’s a nasty stigma around therapy and counseling – with labels thrown around left and right. But the truth of the matter is, none of us are immune. It’s in our DNA somewhere at someplace, and sometimes we all need to let go of stored things. That therapy, and talking and digging could be one of the most potent forms of healing – if we let it and live the process of trusting the act of vulnerability.
Get therapy, even if you don’t think you need it.
Just get therapy.
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