Have you ever asked yourself this question, “why can’t I do what’s best for me? You know you should eat healthily, but you can’t seem to be consistent with it. You want to work out, but you can’t muster up the courage to go out and move. Why?
Why can’t I do what I know I should do? That’s the question we answer inside today’s podcast.
You know what is healthy. Sure, it may be confusing, but mostly because the health industry hasn’t done its do-diligence to inform you of the truth.
What I know, when given the option between foods, most people would pick the healthier option.
Even kids know broccoli is a healthier choice than a cookie.
It’s not that we don’t know what we should be doing, the problem is understanding why I can’t do what I know I should do.
Even good people, with great intentions, can fall short, and the reason is simple and yet fascinating. It’s not as much of a choice as you think. In fact, there is only once choice we have to make, and that is how we approach life.
Our two choices include fear or love.
Inside today’s podcast, Dr. Alexandar Loyd spells out precisely what this means, why love matters in lasting health, and ultimately how you can engineer your memories to work with you instead of against you.
Choosing love looks like freedom, health, happiness, and all the things you long for and search for in external situations.
the end goal should be the goal
What do you want in the end? What is the end goal? We talk an awful lot about having an end goal – getting to a specific place and ‘arriving.’
While I’m not against having a vision for what it is you want life to look like, I don’t’ want you to miss this – being so stuck on the end goal or the wrong end goal is the trigger that sends us into fear.
The world tells us to hustle, that you’re nothing if you’re not there and that the only way is to keep working until you arrive.
But the truth is, we aren’t in control of the end result. That’s not in our power, and the more we believe this, the more power we give ourselves, bringing with it an enormous load of fear, regrets, worries, questions, and anxiety.
In this state, a place of fear we begin to work from survival – sending out the stress hormone to slow down and conserve but also to seek pleasure and avoid pain, regardless of if it’s good.
the law of externals
When we’re living in the law of externals, where life is built only in the highs and the lows, we’ll never be at peace. We start to believe thoughts like, “I want to get in shape because then I’ll be happier.”
The law of externals makes it nearly impossible to do what’s best in our lives, no matter what it relates to because it has to do with the chemistry of right and wrong. The law of externals triggers fear in our bodies – even if it’s just something you imagine.
If you do or even imagine something that your memories tell you is dangerous, your brain tells your hypothalamus to release cortisol, adrenaline, and dopamine – which is the beginning of a fight or flight response.
The other fear-based reaction is called the tidal wave. This is where good people find themselves doing things they don’t believe are good — It may answer the question, why can’t I do what I know I should be doing.
The tidal wave
A tidal wave reaction happens when you’re faced with a decision to do something that you know you shouldn’t do, but you want to do. Like eating that piece of cake, you know will wreck your diet. Or skipping your workout, again because your bed is too comfortable.
You fall into the “tidal wave trap” that enables you to conduct the behavior your mind tells you is wrong, harmful, or not good.
It’s a nasty trap because it’s not just that you perceive it as dangerous or stressful, but you want it. So you have both feelings of love and fear involved – making it a tidal wave of emotional cues that ultimately lead to addiction.
Even worse, the stronger your emotions around the event, the stronger the tidal wave.
As Dr. Loyd states:
“This phenomenon typically happens when your brain is in the fear state – when you’re living under the law of externals. You’re in an unstable, painful place already, so you’re looking for pleasure or a distraction. Even when you know it’s wrong. When fear is in control, your unconscious would rather have you choose wrong than choose pain, because of our necessary fear-based survival programming is to seek pleasure and avoid pain.”
Again, why good people can’t get themselves to do what they believe they should and who can’t stop themselves from doing what they know that they shouldn’t.
When we aren’t aware of this internal chemical tidal wave trigger, we tend to blame it on our external circumstances and rationalize our choices. It becomes someone else’s problem rather than facing your internal battle
The only answer is
Love is the only answer.
Which sounds like a cheesy answer, but it’s the only accurate one.
Love is part of the law of internals where you make decisions based on what you believe, regardless of what is happening externally.
As Dr. Loyd states,
“The fact that we can’t consistently do what’s best wouldn’t bother us so much if we lived in the grace system. It only bothers us because we’ve chosen the survival system.”
It’s your belief about it that matters. Try to live what you believe is right, and when you slip up, make it right with God and others and forgive yourself. It’s nothing more than loving yourself enough to live in love.
We have to stop believing the lies and start tuning into our beliefs.
What do you believe about health? About life?
Can you get yourself to a place that if you want the ice cream, you eat the ice cream because you enjoy the ice cream and nothing more?
To commit to this way of living, you have to give up the end result.
“I believe the purpose of life is to choose love over fear. That’s it. Will I choose love or fear? It is my choice. Every day when I wake up, it’s another opportunity to accomplish what my whole life is about. Another day that I have the opportunity to choose love rather than fear.”
Where are you living your life?
How can you move from a place of externals to internals?
the memory code
Do you want to know how to move from the law of externals to the law of internals? Get your question, why I can’t do what I know I should do, answered in Dr. Loyd’s amazing and mind-blowing book, The Memory Code, to get all of the details.
It was by far the best book I read all year and one I believe everyone should read.
If nothing else, remember this, health is born from love, and love is believing in grace. Be gentle, do the work, and know that no matter how hard you try, if you’re working from the wrong state, it won’t change a thing.
You have to change your beliefs.
- Learn more about Dr. Alexander Loyd Here
- The Memory Code
- The Love Code
- Switch on Your Brain
- The Biology of Belief
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