What are you thinking? What do you believe to be true and how is this driving your life? Here are 5 ways to change your negative self-talk and change your health for life.
I was convicted this weekend sitting at a conference, Jen Wilken is the speaker, and she spoke words that shot straight to the heart. Not in just one area but multiple, including our inner self-critic.
Who it is we call ourselves and how we talk to that person that we’ve made yourself to be.
It was a powerful message on standing true to your new name, who you are in Christ and positioning yourself to talk as any good parent would raise their child to talk to someone else and themselves.
Like a ton of bricks, it all came rolling in, what makes me think that continually beating myself up and talking worse to myself than I would to any other thing was okay? I mean did these insults I daily flung inside my mind change me? Did they make me better? Did they bring results?
No, none of it and believing that they would is a bunch of lies.
These words weren’t just sitting in my mind, they were being stored, they were being used, and they are the driving force creating my actions. What I preach to myself every day, and what you preach to yourself every day is ultimately what our brain perceives and therefore responds accordingly.
So what are you thinking? What do you believe to be true and how is this driving your life. Thes questions are just a little glimmer of what we talk about on the podcast with guest expert Amy Van Slambrook.
Amy Van Slambrook is a licensed psychotherapist working to help heal past trauma’s, strengthen relationships and help you live up to who you were designed to be. On the show I’m asking Amy:
- How do your past trauma’s affect your biology and beliefs?
- How we can heal from past trauma’s
- The benefit of community and relationships in our mindset.
- And so much more.
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negative self-talk
Inside the podcast, I asked Amy the worst thing we could be doing to heal our mind. Her answer was negative self-talk. Those sly comments, hurtful words and daily discouragement we tend to fling around inside our minds without anyone ever noticing.
This is so common amongst humans that we are often unaware of the number of negative impressions we are creating inside our minds on an hourly basis let alone a daily one.
But the science shows, our thoughts change our brain which changes our brain chemistry changing our actions and biological signals. It’s a full-circle approach to survival that our minds perception is how our body responds – even if that is outside of reality.
Learning to dispute negative thoughts might take time and practice, but is worth the effort. Once you start looking at it, you’ll probably be surprised by how much of your thinking is inaccurate, exaggerated, or focused on the negatives of the situation.
Here are five ways to overcome negative self-talk and change your mind and your body towards lasting health.
1. Track Your Thoughts
For most of us, we have no idea how many limiting beliefs we place on ourselves every day. From little comments as you sneak a glance into the reflection back at you about your weight, size, or even the ‘muffin top’ too limiting beliefs about how others perceive you. Continually questioning if others even notice you, if you bring any value to the table and even thoughts of failure.
These are common limiting beliefs that many of us experience on a daily basis – although you may not know it because we have created great barriers to cover it up. But none-the-less these negative beliefs are affecting everything we do, including how we eat, how we live and how we interact in our relationships.
The first step in eliminating negative self-talk is to track when and what you say. Yes, this means to get a journal and start writing. Not only can you start to uncover trigger points {like social media or that big work project} you may also start to understand the power at how hurtful those words are. Everything looks different on paper than it did in your head.
2. Challenge Your Thoughts
Our minds and the thoughts running through them are not clear pictures of reality but our perception of it. And that perception can change based on how we want to see it. For instance, when you’re in a positive mood, you tend to look at things – even hard things in a more positive light. The glass tends to be half full rather than half empty.
But these perceptions are hard to sort through to get to reality. That is why it’s important to challenge your thoughts, especially those limiting beliefs to gain an understanding of how truthful they are. Here are some questions to ask yourself:
- Is there evidence to support this thought?
- Am I making interpretations or coming to quick conclusions?
- What else could this mean?
- If I were in a positive mind space, how would I perceive this situation?
- Is this situation as bad as I’m making it out to be?
- What would be the worst case scenario?
Keep note of what your answers are to create the true statements to overcome the lies.
3. Practice Gratitude
It’s easy to overlook all the blessings in life when we’re constantly distracted by what’s not working out. Practicing daily gratitude helps you to stay focused on the blessing and the positive situations we experience.
Plus, it’s been shown to be one of the highest forms of healing – that shows the power of the mind {1}. So grab a journal and keep a daily list. It doesn’t have to be long, but I can assure you just five things daily will snowball into many more.
4. Take a break from social media
I probably don’t need to remind you of this, but always seeing others people’s perfection, their best self can stack on a lot of pressure that we shouldn’t have to face. It’s easy to forget that most social media images are created for a business with photographers and all the help. And if it’s not for business, you can bet, it’s only the best of situations like big purchases, perfect kids and your dream vacation.
If social media is making your perception of your world murkier, it’s time to take a break. Trust me when I say, it’s good for all of us to take a break. Always looking down and staring into the phone makes you miss looking up and into the numerous blessings surrounding you.
5. take a look at your heart
What you think often stems from what it is you believe. It’s not necessarily a mind issue but a heart issue. It’s who you are, or at least who you think you are, what you bring to the table and most importantly, where your hope lies. To let go of your negative self-talk – dig into your heart. What is it you believe and fashion your “why” statement around this.
change what you fixate on
Our minds are driven to fixate on things. Like anything we fixate on what we provide. Continually fixating on negativity feeds anxiety and depression. It gives our brain something to fascinate on, and that is what drives our thoughts, mood, hormones, and actions.
Change your thoughts, change your actions.
Take note, positive thinking doesn’t always mean you always think happy thoughts, but it means responding to negative emotion in a productive and healthy way.
The more you start to think that way, the more these types of thoughts become automatic, which helps fight off anxiety and depression, improve physical health, dimish stress and improve your lifespan.
So be kind to yourself. Practice positive affirmations, stop spinning the truth and embrace your imperfections – they are what makes you beautiful.
resources from the show
Make sure you check out these resources from the show and follow Amy Van Slambrook on her website, Instagram and Facebook.
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