Fifth grade, it was the first encounter I had with my physical appearance and body positivity – or the lack thereof. I had on jean shorts that had gotten a little snug over that year. You could say I was early to blossom and I didn’t quite know what to do or how to dress the new-found curves and extra pudge my legs have developed through the winter.
It was our end of the year class party – at the swimming pool. The sun was beaming, and finally, the brisk chill of spring had left. Summer was here. I remember that morning, before the start of the last few days of my fifth-grade year – trying on my swimsuit. The one that too had grown a little snug for me.
But I slipped it on, dressed and was giddy with excitement that finally it was our turn for the epic pool party that ended the last days of elementary school and welcomed us into middle school.
As we walked to the pool that day, I remember giggling with my friends. Planning the next birthday party where we’d finally have a chance to finalize the dance routines we’d been making up. As we were walking, I started hearing one boy and then multiple boys, chanting, “thunder thighs.”
The words seemed to echo throughout the entire town.
“Thunder thighs, thunder thighs, thunder thighs.”
Followed by a massive roar of laughter. I turned, knowing exactly who they were speaking of – as I was one of the first and only to blossom in my class that year. They were directly talking about me! About my thighs that stuck out below my too-tight shorts.
I was mortified, holding back tears that stung my eyes. We hadn’t even gotten to the pool, to reveal my full body in skin-tight spandex that has no mercy.
That moment changed me for life. It’s etched in my brain and has carried me to my now 31-year old body. I doubt I’m alone – and I realize that few people can escape the negative stigma that comes with body appearance. The bar that is so hard to reach with far too many people falling short. But don’t we try?
Even today as I type these words, I can’t say that my thighs bother me, but I would say it’s one area that I’m most likely to not-like when I look in the mirror. I doubt it’s me talking but that nasty-fifth grade boy that ruined the way I think about them. But what do we do with this?
How do we overcome body image issues and step into true body love – embracing the movement of body positivity? That’s what I talk about inside today’s podcast – the revival of the body positivity movement for what it’s supposed to be.
changing the movement
The basic ideas of body positivity are not bad. People should not be mistreated or discriminated because of their weight. But as my story goes, it’s also hard to escape that no matter how big the movement gets.
But what I’m questioning is, are we missing the real purpose of the body positivity movement? And is it even a realistic feat – to love your body at any size?
I’m worried for many it feels like just another standard we have to reach when really it’s still staying on this surface level – the shell of who we are rather than penetrating the root.
And in just loving yourself more – doesn’t that in itself cause a lot of added pressure?
Maybe we’re missing the point – perhaps the problem with today’s version of the body positivity movement is that it refuses to acknowledge that no one approach is right for every person. And while you can and certainly should love yourself where you are – that doesn’t mean you can’t also want to change.
Maybe the most important reason it misses the mark is that it’s still a focus on our body – equating our appearance to our satisfaction.
controversial
I suppose this is slightly controversial. But I think it’s important to note – that even this has no cleared defined black and white lines like we would like to believe. What I know and believe to be true that weight doesn’t change who you are as a person – but it can change how you feel.
So it’s unfair to state that while yes, you can love yourself now where you are, and you should, you also don’t have to cease working for change.
Instead of looking at the appearance of who we are – which is always sensitive in nature – what if you shift your focus to how you feel?
We focused less on how we look and more on how we feel?
And in focusing on how we feel, we stop trying to fix our “looks,” and we start to fill who we are and all we were created to be.
back to the beginning
If we go back to the beginning – all the waaaayyy back – then we can remember, that God created us in His image. Yes, we are image-bearers of God, and in that, He said it was good.
I’d have to argue that God would create anyone as less beautiful than the next. I mean if we are made in His image, why would He create us ‘ugly’ or ‘less then.’ I doubt He would ever label us this way.
So we have to remember that beauty standards are not valid standards and not ones I’d stand on. But our right standard of beauty is living fully known by God believing you were created with purpose and for a purpose.
maybe body positivity is a change in focus
So while the body positivity movement has gotten a lot of things right – like ending the discrimination against people for their size, and helping to teach people to love themselves – what it’s missing is the deeper root.
The root that we were never purposed on this earth to live for health.
Our health was intended to be a tool to live for something so much more significant. To live with health rather than for it.
I hope that you and me and our children and their children’s children will not live strapped to an appearance but allow health to be a part of who they are not just what they do.
how do we get there?
We must choose to end the cycle of obsessing over our bodies – including the messages of the body positivity movement. Start appreciating you as you are. That means being okay with wanting to lose weight or being okay with staying heavy.
To know that your self-worth isn’t tied to your beauty or a number on the scale.
Spend less time in front of the mirror and more time with friends, family, books, and hobbies. To enjoy food as a part of life and not something you have to revel in or fear.
To not even worry about the shape of your body because you’re so fulfilled in other aspects of life.
What if we take the beauty talk off the table? What if focus on something about ourselves other than our bodies; less about how big {or nonexistant} our thigh gap is and more about what we bring to the table.
You, me, our children, we were all created as image-bearers of God – will you step into the role you were called to be?
your thoughts
I would love to know your thoughts on the body positivity movement – where would you like it to go? Leave a comment below or send me a personal message! The biggest truth I can give you is you are worth more than how you look. The world needs more of what you bring to the table and the best way that you can do this is to grow confident in yourself and feel good doing it.
Work to fill yourself rather than fix your problems.
You are love. You are beautiful.
Don’t ever forget it!
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